I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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