I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
