Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
