Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
what day is it and did you see me today?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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