Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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