I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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