this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
