chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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