Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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