I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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