Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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