Buhtt sex?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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