just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
