Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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