I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
