My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
We're not piercing ourselves today.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
