She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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