Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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