I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
