She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
