i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
