im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
