I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
