I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
