no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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