Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Randomize
