I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Randomize
