all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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