Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
