Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
