Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
she woke up with a sticky ear
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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