I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
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