I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He has the fingertips of a God
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