Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
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