I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
