Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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