We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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