so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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