is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
