if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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