I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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