I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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