we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
