we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
