i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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