im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
