he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
