yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
