The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
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