Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
