somebody snuck up and got me drunk
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
